On Love

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post on 'Why be a Catholic' and the reason I focused on was love: the Church helped me to love. At the end of the post, I noted that many people find the Catholic Church to be unloving, for example, in her beliefs on sexuality. Same sex attraction is regarded as a (spiritual) disorder. Sexual acts between men or women is a sin. I said I would come back to this subject as I have skin in the game: I am bisexual. 

So, here I am.

I guess we have two questions here: How can the Catholic Church help anyone to love if she is unloving, and how can I be a Catholic given what the Church teaches about my sexual orientation?

In regards the first question, if we take that the Church is unloving because of her teaching on sexuality (or anything else for that matter), that doesn't automatically mean that she cannot love at all. She is flawed; okay, but you are flawed, so am I, and yet we are still able to love. It's the same with the Church. It is possible for an organised body to be so thoroughly corrupt that no good can come from her, but the Catholic Church is not that body. She has many centuries of proof in that regard.

In regards the second question, it is awkward, and no mistake. If I was younger the issue might have mattered more; however, I am now in my 50s and as I have got older, I have grown to be more and more trusting of God's mercy. It may be that the Church's current teaching on homosexuality is the final word on the matter, I don't believe that it is, but even if it is I trust completely that at my life's end God will show me perfect mercy as well as be perfectly just. In the meantime, I will continue to praise the Lord and try to follow Him as well as I can.

For those interested, my view is that there is still more to discover about legitimate (i.e. Godly) expressions of love. The Church's current teaching is a flower only half in bloom. One day, I expect it to come into complete bloom. When it does, some of us will be surprised about the expressions we rejected.

Having said all that, I must be honest and say that at the moment this part of my life is quite easy for me: I am single. If I took a boyfriend my Catholic life would take, let's say, an interesting turn. I'm happy to cross that bridge when I come to it. What I won't do, however, is tear myself up about my situation. I will live as truthfully as I can, pray, think, pray some more, read, and listen only to voices who are authoritative and who I trust; the others, no matter how loud or popular they are, I will let drift away on the wind. 

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Michał Turkiewicz